You see, I always thought I was different, and a little warped. I mean I was always enraptured by beautiful women, but I got turned on by female death scenes. The hotter the victim, the more I was turned on! So, I desired and adored beautiful women, but at the same time was drawn to scenes like Faye Dunaway's death scene in "Bonnie and Clyde". I'm a very logical thinker, and this never made any sense to me. I thought I was alone, since no one else who I knew ever expressed a similar feeling when viewing female death scenes in video.
In the late Nineties, a fellow writer, directed me to an on-line magazine that featured one of his stories. The magazine was called 'Mindburst' or something like that. When I surfed to the site, the front page caption caught my attention. It read something like, "Do You Like Dead Chicks?" Not only could I not believe the title, but the contents included research into erotic death fetish sites of that era. Through this article, I found G-Man's 'Fatal Females' site. I lurked for a while, reading the attached message board, which by the way was frequented by a feisty guy named Eugene!
The rest of my story of how I became a video producer has already been posted on this board, so let's fast forward to today...
I not only have come to know many of you here through Internet channels, but I have met and worked with many beautiful actresses who have become close friends. Suzi, for example, doesn't see me as some kind of latent serial killer or even as weird or strange. Many people have fetishes, she assures me, and there's nothing wrong with them as long as no one gets hurt. Coming from a girl who epitomizes the dream girl victim in my fantasies, that statement is very reassuring. So, I think about the people that I have worked with and been accepted by, such as Suzi, Meredith, Petra, Jessica, Maxine X, Kerie, Charlene, Velvet, Melina, and many others as well as male actors such as Voytek, Dean and Ed, and I realize that this fetish is no longer something that I am ashamed of, but something that I've come to grips with, accepted as a part of my life, and can use as an inspiration for creative work that is appreciated by other like-minded people, while not looked down upon by my 'normal' actress and actor friends.
So, if you are still coming to grips with your fetish, please realize that you are not alone, and you are certainly not any more bent or warped than the rest of this planet of sinners
I wouldn't trade my last four years of writing and filming these Silk Video productions for anything. So, I wish to thank everyone within 'earshot' for just being yourselves, and for being there for each other. Hopefully, many of you will be able to look back on these times as some of the best times of your lives... where you can be yourselves and don't have to be fearful and ashamed of your slightly unconventional thoughts and feelings.
Now, someone help me down from this soapbox. My eyes are becoming blurred by these tears of joy
Blue
