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TITLE: "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" a.k.a "Hollywood Hookers" (UK)
GENRE: Exploitation, schlock horror
RELEASE DATES: March 1988, reissued on DVD August 2008 (20th anniversary edition)
WRITER/PRODUCER/DIRECTOR: Fred Olen Ray
PRIMARY CAST: Jay Richardson, Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer (as Michelle McLellan)
RUNTIME: 75 minutes
PRINT QUALITY: Good (widescreen format)
DOWNLOAD SOURCE: http://cnbhorror.org/dark2/ (membership required)
VIDEO FILE: AVI, 600 MB
MPAA RATING: R (UK 18)
REVIEWER RATING: 4 stars out of 5

A less than brilliant private eye (Jay Richardson) while searching for a runaway girl (Linnea Quigley), comes across a fanatical cult of chainsaw wielding hookers bent on john destruction. You might think this unlikely, but after all, it is Hollywood. Gorgeous Michelle Bauer is one of the murderous ladies of the evening. The action climaxes with Richardson bound as a ritual sacrifice, while Quigley and Bauer engage in a chainsaw duel to the death. Definitely a realistic Hollywood situation.

If hot babes, naked bods and chainsaws weren't enough, there are some funny lines and equally funny sight gags. If you haven't already guessed, this gore fest is played for laughs, and it usually delivers them. Although this is a tongue-in-cheek romp, it does have a serious message: If your date drapes her bedroom with clear plastic and puts on a shower cap - get the hell out of there!

Linnea and Michelle look fantastic with and without clothes. Linnea is particularly cute as a topless dancer in her opening scene. The other female cast members are far from being rejects, which gives this little flick an A-Plus for eye candy. Did I mention there's a topless fire-eater? (What will they think of next?)

"Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" was produced on a shoestring. (see bonus post) As for the acting… er, well, there is some. As for production values, there are a few (the chainsaws work). But what more do you expect? After all this is schlock exploitation. Although it has its shortcomings, many including me love this tasty little slice of '80s Hollywood sleaze. Prior to the 2008 DVD reissue, a used "H C H" DVD sold on Amazon for $40.

The price of the 20th anniversary DVD is $14.95 USD, which is five dollars less than a one-month membership in Dark Videos 2, which as far as I know is the only download source. A membership provides access to twenty-four more downloadable, full-length extreme and exploitation flicks. I smell a bargain.

Dissenting opinions are always welcome.

Al

65 screen caps follow, after which there is a bonus post with additional film and cast info, plus a free video link for Linnea Quigley's most graphic death scene, courtesy of Big O. Keep scrolling down.

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Last 11 caps
Keep scrolling down for a bonus post and video link

FRED OLEN RAY, producer/director: Although he now cranks out made-for-television movies, Fred began his Hollywood career by making such anti-classics as "Beverly Hills Vamp," "Bad Girls From Mars" and "The Brain Leaches."

LINNEA QUIGLEY, scream queen: Linnea has appeared in more than one-hundred movies, plus seven more that are either filming or are in postproduction. She is cute rather than beautiful. To say the least she never will be nominated for an academy award, nor could she pass an audition for "Dancing With the Stars." I haven't heard her sing, and definitely don't want to. Why then does she have so many devoted fans, myself included? The answer is she does all the things she really can't do with such cheerful, unselfconscious enthusiasm you gotta love her. You can enjoy Ms Quigley not-acting, not-dancing and not-singing in schlock classics like "Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama" (with Michelle Bauer), "Sexbomb" (sic) and "Silent Night, Deadly Night," with the infamous scene in which she is slowly impaled on deer antlers. Courtesy of Big O, here is a link to a high-quality video of the complete scene:

http://www.mediafire.com/?zkzgrmquhcy (10.6 MB)

FUN FACTS: "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" was shot in five and a half days. Its reputed production cost was $23 thousand dollars (take this one with a grain of salt). Only one theatrical print survives. It took eight hours to apply Linnea Quigley's body paint for the climatic chainsaw scene. Talk about my dream job! Though I probably would have been canned for drooling in the paint.

QUOTES: "The chainsaws used in this Motion Picture are real and dangerous! They are handled here by seasoned professionals.* The makers of this Motion Picture advise strongly against anyone attempting to perform these stunts at home. Especially if you are naked and about to engage in strenuous sex. My conscience is clear, Fred Olen Ray"
*NOTE: The "seasoned professionals" are scream queens and porn actresses.

"I'd stumbled into the middle of an evil, insidious cult of chainsaw worshipping maniacs. I had to wonder if we'd let our religious freedom go too far in this country, or maybe our immigration laws were just too lax."

"They charge an arm and a leg."

Al

The same sort of stable as Troma, then, Al.

Although Troma Entertainment and Savage Cinema were rivals,
I suspect the Torma and Savage staffs drank in the same pub.

In general I prefer Savage Cinema, but then there's no accounting
for some peoples' tastes.

Al

I'm only slightly a fan of Fred Olen Ray, his movies have a certain style, but are of that class that promises much, much more than it actually delivers- which of course is also true of most of Troma's stuff.

My own favourite was the early work "Armed Response" with the equally iconic tough girl Laurene Landon- who gets her tits shot off early on, only to re-appear for the conclusion.

I don't remember seeing "Armed Response." I'll have to see if it's available anywhere.

I'm not a huge Ray fan either, but "H C H" has always been a particular fave for being a fun mix of great bods and humor. You can even say it had and still has a kind of innocent charm. Now I look at it as a nostalgia piece from a time when low-budget freebooters like Troma and Savage could still get some theatrical distribution and have their videos bought by mom and pop rental joints. (Plus, for reasons I can't definitively explain, I'm one of the unwashed legion of Linnea Quigley fans.) Today, if you don't have a mega-budget blockbuster nobody want to talk to you.

You can blame the rating system for most movies of that time promising much more than they actually delivered. Producers had to keep within the R rating to survive. An X or NC-17 rating meant no theatrical distribution, and if you managed to sell a few videos to rental joints, they were exiled to adults-only rooms.

Of course, films promising more than they delivered is an old story. Just look at the action movie posters from the '30s and '40s.

Al

I am checking to see if I can get "Armed Response." 1986, it is listed but it looks like one has wanted it for some time, many times this means it may not be available. But will ask.

I will put up "Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout' Thursday on CnB. I loved it and you may have it but it could be good for the members for a really sexy and good horror spoof.

Dennis

Thanks, Dennis!

I had "L Q's Horror Workout" on VHS which I had duped from a rental, which in turn I loaned to a friend who chewed it up in his grade-Z VCR. It will be fun having it again.

Al

Just for the fun of it, here is Linnea Quigley in a Nude Dance for 'The Return of the Living Dead'

http://www.sexyamazons.com/main/viewvid ... ude-dance/

Dennis

Yep, she's all-girl alright.

Thanks, Den

The link has changed for 'Linnea Quigley in a Nude Dance for 'The Return of the Living Dead':

http://www.sexyamazons.com/main/ShockFl ... ce/Page-1/

Dennis

SPECIAL NOTICE

This film is no longer available from the listed source, Dark Videos 2.
Nor is it available as a NetFlix rental. However, the DVD is still available
from Amazon. No reliable, paid download source seems to be available
at this time.

Al