Welcome back Jafa!

[Bluestone]

Member Jafa and I have discussed the circumstances surrounding the suspension that was issued against him by me. There was a lot going on at that point in time, and my first priority is always to ensure the protection of FF and its members from unwarranted attacks. It was in this context that I acted; however, I acted in the heat of the moment. Although there was indeed a coordinated attack on FF at the time, it now appears that Jafa was not part of that attack. His statements were misconstrued by me, and accordingly he became a victim of this DS-FF skirmish. Jafa and I have settled these issues between ourselves privately, and accordingly I am hereby welcoming Member Jafa back to FF as a full member, and look forward to his lighthearted and entertaining posts that have become his trademark on the boards.

Welcome back, Jafa!

Blue

[jafa]

Thank you Blue. It is always a pleasure dealing with a gentleman.
JAFA

first joke of the season.

A cow suddenly jumps out into the road, they hit it full on, and the
car comes to a stop. Nancy, in her usual charming manner, says to
the chauffeur: 'You get out and check - you were driving.' The
chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but
it was old.

'You were driving; go and tell the farmer,' says Nancy.

Two hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair
ruffled with a big grin on his face.

'My God, what happened to you?' asks Nancy.

The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best
bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the
daughter made love to me.' 'What on earth did you say?' asks Nancy.
'I just knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to
them: 'I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old
cow.'

[shootingmad]

oh gosh, is that the level of humor we have to expect from you?


welcome

[jafa]

Fire-Rescue Memorandum - Office of the Fire Chief

To: All Riding Members
From: Chief of Operations
Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

It has come to our attention from several emergency
rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly
creative direction lately.

Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from
using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such
as the following.

1. Cardiac patients should not be referred to with
MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape),
PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before,
got it again).

2. Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor
are rescuers to use CCFCCP (Coo Coo for
Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

3. Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to shit),
FDGB (fall down, go boom),
TBC (total body crunch)
or "hamburger helper."
Similarly, descriptions of a
car crash do not have to include phrases like
negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or terminal deceleration syndrome."

4. HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals,
not "glow worms."

5. Persons with altered mental states as a result of
drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."

6. Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital
implants."

7. The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen", nor is
endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC
Challenge".

8. And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons
as being "paws up,"
"ART" (assuming room temperature),
"CC" (Cancel Christmas), "CTD" (circling the drain),
or "NLPR" (no long playing records).

I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural
diversity of our patients to include their medical
orientations in creating proper, narratives and log entries.

[Bluestone]

Okay, Jafa,

I'm penning a new FF rule against bad humour! Let's see, "Thou shalt not publish allegedly humourous stories that cause one to groan at the punch line." How does that sound? Now, for the penalty. Let's see. What about a one millisecond suspension for every poor joke posted on FF? I wonder what everyone else thinks about this new rule and the severity of the penalities. If you were only a sexy, young female, it'd be easy to hand out a sentence. The shooters would be arguing over target areas though, and the asphixia guys would be split over whether the offender should die with eyes open or closed. Oh bother! Maybe I should put up a poll. Hmmmm. Leave it with me. There should be some way to make you pay for making me groan... and when I don't take my meds, the same jokes make my belly ache from the laughter. Somebody's got to pay for this!!!!

Blue

[TenderFlesh]

Got to love that EMS one Jafa. As a firefighter and EMT for 40 years now I don't know when I've seen a better memo. Sadly, some of our abbreviations kept in the confines of the firehouse are just about that bad. Thanks for the laugh.

[jafa]

I wish to thank you all for the "warm" welcome I received.

I JAFA do hereby promise to make every effort I can to live
"down" to your expectations.

[kevin67]

Welcome back JAFA, I really like your sense of humor, which means I must be warped.