About Editing, Acting and Lead-in...

[Dalila di Capri]

The model is very pretty, and very sexy (two different things)

You are very imposing as usual.

I don't get any specific sense of character from the model, other than the fact that she is very sexy.

Also I can't quite make out what either one of you are saying.
(Perhaps it's my speakers?)

Why does she come on to you and then make a run for it? Is this covered in the dialogue?

Your reaction to the hot liquid is very natural. You have come very far as an actor.

I am sure that as usual this will be a great film when it gets to the FX.

Thanks for posting it.

Baci

[Peter]

I sent my constructive critique by PM.

[gold]

I think this setup is like a sexy romp through the woods with a fiesty conviving vixen who throws a curve ball and sets poor paul up for a fast ball to the head .It really is unique i like it her voice is so sexy you have to listen closely for the clues because shes setting us all up,Hope this one or others debut soon

[Dalila di Capri]

Paul wrote:

[quote][/I thought her disgusted look at first seeing me arrive and then being all smiles toward me should have said something about her character. Such as she knows she's in trouble, she has dealt with this guy before and it's usually not good when he shows up and she's probably not one to be trusted. That sort of thing.

I"m not relying 100% on fx to sale my films. I rely on them being well shot, acted, edited and produced as well.quote]

The fact that you needed to explain the look of disgust on her face shows that it was a bit on the small side. I didn't quite get what you describe above from the scene.

Even with a more natural form of acting there needs to be some sort of motivation to any non verbal expression.

Again the dialogue was not clear for me, and that may have helped to establish her duplicity.

On the whole what you have presented is exacty what you say you are trying to do:
Put out more than just FX driven product, and I applaud your efforts.

The film looks very promising.

Baci

[Dalila di Capri]

She seemed annoyed, but it came off as "Oh that annoying little man" as opposed to
"Wow this guy is in here and could really do some harm to me."

You are way more physically threatening than the look she gave. If I were a secretary and a big, brooding, ass kicking man such as yourself came in, and I knew he was a threat, I would be much more worried than annoyed.

It is all in the type of look: Eyes can say a lot.

I would also have chosen to put a bit of a tell into my seduction. Just a slight change of eyes to tip off that I am trying to trick you...very slight, but sharp. Then...the coffee.

Your storyboard was fine. You could not have done anything else in terms of the shot.

Again these are minor points. I think that you have the makings of an excellent video here.

I did notice her breasts Why not?

I thought that you fellows liked it when we girls notice each other's figures and admire them.

Baci

[CapgunChuck]

Paul,
Excellent lead-in. It draws me into it, makes me interested, with the change of character angles as each character speaks. and excellent close-ups of the actress. Makes me want to see the feature! This feature will in no way be boring. You're on a roll here. Keep it up. Thanks!

CC

[tOkie]

The title gave me a clue, as to what might be going on. I did get the dialogue and the expressions.

Nice music that fills in the piece. This adds to the build-up of the scene and gives it that "mainstream" feel.

I would have gone for a pan in, or a close-up during the hot coffee in the face part, but that may be where you were going with this, anyway.

I'm not quite clear on the posture that you are trying to convey. Are you hands-on-hips ready to be confrontational? If so, this was mostly obscured by your jacket.

The timing is good, that is to say, not too long where a viewer would get antsy and start ffd'ing.

[gold]

Hey Paul have not evem seen it but give it a marginal Kreskin 10 to bring on the raves/Id be glad to review the editing process on this baby. watch out for the bean ball baby

[Dalila di Capri]

Ah...

Perhaps because I know that every hot model you work with gets stabbed 39 times
(Or something like that)
I read too much into it.

I can't help it. I've seen too many KHP movies.

Baci

[Dalila di Capri]

That's because I am stealing them

No, not at all.

I have seen all of the CnB material, and Hookdown, who is now going to order some customs from me on a regular basis, sent me three of the customs he ordered from you.

However I am willing to trade you film for film to stay current with your material.

Baci

[Dalila di Capri]

Oh for goodness sakes Paul Don't be so paranoid

Hookdown says he custom ordered them.

They were a Vapire film, a shootout in a garage, and a sniper film made at one of his properties in Florida.

3 Excellent films with stunning special effects and solid acting.

There is absolutely nothing strange about that.

But if you have a problem with my having them take it up with Hookdown. There may be other diputes you have with him as well, but those are none of my business.

As for the 39 stabs, I got that number from you yourself. Remember? You told me you had done a film with 39 belly stabs and a throat slit??

My offer to trade films with you stands. You deserve no less given your status in the genre, and I am happy to do so.

Baci

[Dalila di Capri]

Paul you are trying very hard to make me sound like a thief and to provoke me into saying things in anger, and I am not going to fall for it.

I came by every film of yours that I have seen honestly.

As a model/producer I am also in a position to trade films with other producers.

If someone sends me films and says "I paid for the models, I supplied this person the locations, paid the camera and lighting man" etc...that sounds like a custom to me.

I no longer have the 3 films in question and I have also deleted the films of yours I have seen through CnB. I have never sent any of your films to anyone else, and I do not make a habit of filesharing. I have several videos from Blue (stil on my hard drive) that he sent me and they have not been sent anywhere else.

That needs to be said in public because you have accused me of being less than honorable.

I am not interested in sending you any more PMs because of the last series of exchanges we had. Surely you can at least respect that.

The vast majority of what I have to say about you in public is very good.

I have no idea why you have compulsion to turn my comments into attacks upon you work.

But it's your compulsion and you are entitled to it.

As for the original thread:

That is exactly what I commented upon. You posted it for the community to see as an example of the work leading up to your FX, and for the most part I complimented your work.

I too would like it to get back to that point, and I am really baffled as to how this got to be so ugly all of a sudden. When you gave you critique of my recent FX clip I took your constuctive comments well because I realize that what you have to say about FX has value.

I would hope that you would grant me the same respect, but that too is up to you.

Baci anyway

[Dalila di Capri]

I didn't highjack it...but since you can't take even a positive comment from me this will be my last comment upon any of you work...no need to lock the thread just because you are afraid of a little girl.

Have a wonderful career.

[bellystabs]

That is a clever concept for a lead in. I rented a horror movie with a similar concept called "Repo! The Genetic Opera" (2008) (not "Repo Men" with Jude Law and Forrest Whitaker).

The one I rented turned out to be kind of lame for my tastes... but Tiffany Lee's version is already in my queue buy. Tell her that her fans are eagerly waiting for her return!

[JohnM]

That totally reminded me of Repo the Genetic Opera, but with out the song and dance numbers.

So, your looking for comment on lead in...here is goes.

Everything you hoped to achieve in set up was accomplished. We were introduced to the victim, the victim was presented with a dilema, a choice was made and a resolution was about to occur.

If I was going to shoot it, beside it simply being in my shooting style, I would have added one extra bit of establishing shot...like the girl curled up in a chair reading a book, then reacting to the knock--just to further establish her character and invoke sympathy as I like my characters to be a bit more simpathetic. My timing and pace might have been a bit faster, but for the music you chose it was perfect. The transition from the white dissolve to the white light was nice as well as the slow pan down the wall building anticipation. The laying out of the tools...very nice.

Thanks for sharing, Paul.

JohnM