How would you tell your significant other?

[Bluestone]

Hey Everyone,

I would guess that the majority of those here have not told their significant others about their erotic death fetish. For those who have, like our famous role-players here, you can participate too. So, here are my questions for each group:

1. For those who have told their significant others, how did you do it?

2. For those who haven't, how would you break it to your significant other?

I'm in the second group. I'm sure she would stand by me, but she would probably try to convince me that this fetish is bad, perhaps she would use the word 'evil', and that I should give it up. That is why I have not told her. I'm not really embarassed about it, but I don't think she would understand. So as not to avoid the question, if I absolutely had to tell her, I guess I would sit her down and discuss the imprinting theory with her, explaining that I really have no control over these images in my mind. I would make it clear that they are total fantasies and have nothing to do with really wanting to see women die. Then, I would swear her to secrecy. What about the rest of you?

Blue

[tOkie]

I tried, for years, to tell my 1st X about what was going on in my minds eye. She never could grasp the concept. About 11 years into our marriage, she found my collection of pictures that I had manipulated with sharpie markers. Needless to say...she flipped OUT. I still tried to explain to her, without closure, what it is that made me who I am. She left me within two years of finding the pictures, never even wanting to understand.

I never even thought about discussing his with my 2nd X. I was sure what I was thinking about was so evil, that I just couldn't bring it up. I was forced, through my fear, to hide my fetish and rarely let myself as much as think about it.

I have a close lady friend who knows all about my proclivity. She understands but: does not approve nor does she enable my fantasy. She was curious, at first, about what it is that I fantasize about. After talking about it for a few months, she would grow weary of trying to fathom what it all means. We no longer "speak" of it, except occasionally, she will ask if I am visiting places like FF.



I can only speak for my experiences with the three closest partners in my life. I have often wondered if: my personality, being all kind, generous, loving and caring has a lot to do with the reaction I have received from those who know me well. I may never know the answer. I can say for sure...my first marriage collapsed because of this, my second marriage (likely) collapsed because I was in denial and hiding. My current relationship...I can not say if it will stand the strains.


Jeffrey

[Nightposter]

I have introduced my fantasies to every one of my potential playmates...except one, she beat me to it.

I had only one girl break it off because of the fantasies, but she tried it first.

My first wife was an "anything goes" girl when we were dating, but after we were married suddenly she no longer wanted to do much of anything. She followed the same path with husbands 2, 3 and 4, after that I lost track of her.

My current wife was scared at first, but played well with me until injuries sustained at work, made it impossible for her to continue.

However she still does not understand why I can not just walk away from my fantasies, as she did. She tolerates me in this, but doesn't want to see my drawings or stories, or the videos resulting from my donations.

[elsullo]

Hmmmmmmmmm. Think carefully about revealing your "kinky side." My second wife was very liberated, and we enjoyed non-kinky role play, like King and Servant Girl, etc. One day we were about to have sex on the sunny lawn (we lived way out in the country). The night before we had seen a sexy movie called "Inserts" where a woman gets briefly strangled with her boyfriend's neck bandana during sex and has a huge orgasm. So I came out wearing a similar bandana, hoping to roleplay that movie.

Well, at least she didn't scream. But she went pale and got bug-eyed, and literally fled into the house. Our play date was over, and she did not ever want to discuss it again. Within six months we parted, as she had just closed down to me. It was fun for her in a movie, but she did not want to be near anyone with a REAL fantasy.

My third wife was a radical feminist bisexual, so obviously I never revealed anything about my fantasy life! Since then I have resolved to be completely open about my kinky side on the FIRST DATE of any new affair---take it or leave it from the get-go.....................elsullo

[Dalila di Capri]

You poor dears.

First of all for the wives and girlfriends who freaked out on you I say:

"Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

You were not trying to harm them, but they in their selfishness harmed YOU by making you feel like freaks, or though there was something so alien about you that they just couldn't bear to be around you.

Being the object of erotic horror fantasies I of course wanted to find someone who shared my exact desires, and I did.

But yes I once was with someone who thought my desires to be freakish.

We were watching horror. The sexy bitch got it right where I like to see it, and I expressed my sexual thrill over it. He was disgusted.

And so?

I dumped him.

A few months later I was stabbed in that attack I told you about on the other thread. I can't prove that my ex had something to do with the attack, but I believe he did. It was just too coincidental.

I am now happily married (as many of you know) and yes, that man shares my fantasy.

I can't imagine being married or together with someone who does not.

baci

[indrico]

I told my current SO during a makeout session, "And you know what else I like to do with breasts? I like to shoot them with imaginary bullets." She replied, "That sounds like fun."

Am I a lucky dog or what?

My ex-wife knew and (maybe) understood but said she would only play along under orders, such as by a therapist. She had control issues, too.

[tummyshooter]

Actually, I don't think you really need to tell them about it directly at all. Like...Hey Honey I have this wierd fetish. There are so many opportunities to gradually introduce it. Let's say you're going to the movies, and you say well there's nothing on, we could go see this slasher movie. If she says there is NO WAY IN HELL I would ever see a movie like that. Then maybe you're out of luck. But I have never had anyone react like that. Later at the move Ill say to her...hey cool! they stabbed that girl right in the guts! Then poke her in the tummy in the same place. If she giggles, you're in! Another thing I would do now is 'accidently' find the youtube video called 'Quick arrow'. (search for it, it's great!) Once again, just judge her reaction, and that will tell you how to proceed. It's almost like you and her 'discover' this little fetish just between the two of you. Using this process, the worst reaction that I've ever had is indifference because they are simply not in to it at all. Many more will play along just to indulge their slightly kooky boyfriend. A few will really like it and probably continue even if you two break up. (Then they have to wonder, how am I going to get my new boyfriend into it.) It is really worth it if works out.

[tummyshooter]

Thinking about this subject, I came up with a Girl Friend Fetish Reaction Scale:

1. you're insane, you need immediate psychiatric help, starts backing towards the door
2. you're insane, but probably not dangerous
3. that's disturbing but will drop it if you change the subject quickly
4. gross, I don't like that
5. indifferent - depends on the mood whether she will participate
6. indifferent - but will play along
7. sure - sounds like fun
8. even brings up the scenario on her own
9. oh that? I have been getting stabbed in my tummy since I was 4
10. You actually are Dalila, Petra, or one of our other marvelous ladies

My girlfriends have all been 5,6,7, except for my current 8....life is good

[Nightposter]

Hmmmm
let's see, using this scale
First wife - 6
Kim - 9 or 10 ( but this was 30 years ago )
Alice - 7.5
Connie - 12 or 13, but let's not go there
Wife - 6 then 7 then Injured reserve list